Dog End Day

This was to have been the title track of the new album before I changed the title.

The lyrics come from my old collaborator Tony Groves. I combined bits of two of his writing and added a few bits of my own to make it flow. The result is this happy little ditty. To be fair, Tony and I don’t really do happy, but what the hell!

Powdered milk and dog-end day,
I got no money and I got no pay.
I got no family and I got no wife,
But I got trouble and I got strife.

Smash the buffers or go off the rails
It’s all the same when life’s brake fails
Hit a mountain, crash in the sea
Makes no difference far as I can see

Heart thumps hard, stomach knots,
I count the blessings that I ain’t got.
I live in hope and struggle on through,
It’s what they tell me that I must do.

No more booze is what you’re thinking
All the while you go on drinking
I’ll quit tomorrow is what I say
But tomorrow is another day…

Knock it back to drown that pain,
Knowing it’ll soon come back again
Heart plays rhythm with lots of bass
Misery carved on a careworn face

Skies of lead, grey with gloom
Spinning eyes and spinning room
Reality is where I dwell
Deep within this living hell

Who Am I?

A song with lyrics by myself and Tony Groves. Who am I? Good question.

In a land of strangers with ways hard to know

Isolation, frustration, continually grow
Alone every day, alone every night

Life full of nothing, no friend in sight
Trapped in a place where nothing is right

Trapped in the dark and screaming for light
Depression for meat, sorrow for drink

A spirit embittered, how low can it sink?
I’m a pile of junk mail landing on your mat
I’m the left over food that you fed your cat
I’m the faded letters on a roadside sign
I’m a broken clock that can’t tell the time
I’m the curtain you pull across your window pane
I’m the price you pay for your moment of fame
I’m the broken switch on your bedroom light
I’m the bed that you fall asleep in at night

Try to be positive when everything’s wrong

Try to stay calm, but it doesn’t last long
Try to be nice, but keep filling with rage

Pouring out vitriol, page after page
Temper uncertain, thoughts tinged with madness

Once there was hope, now there’s only sadness
Today or tomorrow, all seem the same

Nothing to lose, but still less to gain
I’m the crap you bought at the shopping mall
I’m the dirty boots that you left in the hall
I’m the man on the telly in the shiny suit
I’m the tune you play on a broken flute
I’m the ads on the telly between the shows
I’m the poor lost soul that nobody knows
I’m the last cigarette that you dropped in the street
I’m the unshed tear that you tried to weep

I’m the left over food that you fed your cat
I’m a pile of junk mail landing on your mat
I’m the poor lost soul that nobody knows
I’m the ads on the telly between the shows
I’m a broken clock that can’t tell the time
I’m the faded letters on a roadside sign
I’m the unshed tear that you tried to weep
I’m the last cigarette that you dropped in the street
I’m the bed that you fall asleep in at night
I’m the broken switch on your bedroom light
I’m the price you pay for your moment of fame
I’m the curtain you pull across your window pane
I’m the dirty boots that you left in the hall
I’m the crap you bought at the shopping mall
I’m the tune you play on a broken flute
I’m the man on the telly in the shiny suit
Who am I?

Ghosts

And now for something completely different…

The last few songs have been a bit electric and up tempo and I’ve kinda neglected the softer side of things so here’s an accoustic number with lyrics again by my friend Tony Groves. Hope you like it.

Surely ghosts don’t ache in places

They don’t have places

Or hands or faces
The dead don’t walk upon the ground

They can’t be found

And make no sound

Spirits do not breath the air

Or comb their hair

Or sit and stare
Yet wandering, unheard, unseen

As in a dream


A ghost of living flesh and bone

Sat all alone

So all alone
Among six billion souls or more

Hear them roar

Outside my door

Lost and lonely, sight unseen
Alone and lost a daily theme
Their thoughts their own and must remain
Like a needle in the brain

The dead no longer rage or weep

Way down deep

Deep in their sleep
Surely ghosts don’t feel the pain

Or go insane

The dead no longer howl or cry

Choke and sigh

Their eyes are dry
Surely ghosts don’t miss this life

Or emotion’s knife

Or all the strife

Spirits do not breath the air

Or comb their hair

Or sit and stare
Yet wandering, unheard, unseen

As in a dream


Dark Place

An uptempo blues song about loneliness and despair and cheery stuff like that with lyrics by my good friend Tony Groves and a video by my usual video producer, Dioclese.

Turn the volume up and rock along! Enjoy it and try not to get too depressed.

Sometimes I go to a dark place
I go there all alone
I hear no friendly voices
Not even on the phone
The dark place isn’t cosy
Bed of nails cold
Makes me feel lonely
Crushed and sad and old

No walls or locks to hold me
The darkness has to keep
A dungeon in my head space
Awake or fast asleep
Dark place full of torture
Thoughts both old and new
Dreams a jagged landscape
Chilled as morning dew

Killers serve their time out
Whilst robbers they walk free
Life sentence no remission
The dark place gave to me

The dark place is my prison
A jail built just for me
Dark place a heavy curtain
Through which I cannot see

Though searching for the sunshine
Those rays of hope and joy
The dark place drops the shutters
That’s not for you my boy

Sometimes I go to a dark place
I hear no friendly voices
Alone in my dark place

Dreary Dreary Me

Another collaboration with my favourite lyric writer, Tony Groves.

Tony reckons I like songs about misery and drinking and stuff like that and I suppose he might have a point. The way I look at it is that I write about things that interest me or that I have experience of. I avoid love songs unless they’re vitriolic. Mainly because even though I have a wonderful wife, I’m just no good at them! They always come out as syrupy crap.

So here’s another song about misery and drinking. Thanks, Tony.

Alcohol for dinner
Alcohol for tea
Deary deary deary
Deary deary me.
Another weekend vanished
Disappeared in boozy mist
Deary deary deary
Deary deary pissed.

When the darkness falls and the black dog bites
And the days seem hard but harder the nights
When hope is far and despair too near
And nothing is left but worry and fear
When nightmares are all you get from sleep
And you wake at dawn and start to weep
When your trust in people has crashed on a reef
And a loved one smiles and kicks you in the teeth

Didn’t eat at all day
No not a single crumb
Deary deary deary
Deary deary dumb.
Booze, it is my downfall
Or is it my fall down
Deary deary deary
Deary deary clown.

When friends turn away and leave you in pain
And your heartbeat’s thunder and your tears like rain
When karma deals you another dead hand
And your plans go awry like a rocket unmanned
When you can’t see the point of waking each morn
And you try to be brave though feeling forlorn
When fate takes away that last friendly face
And even your God will show you no grace

Why can’t I take it easy
And just apply the brakes
Deary deary deary
Deary deary shakes.
I sees to me I cannot stop
No, no no matter what
Deary deary deary
Deary deary twat!

It doesn’t make me clever
Doesn’t make me tough
Deary deary deary
Deary deary rough…
I promise I won’t drink again
Until the day I die
Oh deary deary deary
Such a deary deary lie!

Bears

Another lyric by Tony Groves continues the ‘Old Friends’ album.

I think this is about the world getting on top of you, which is definitely something I can relate to from time to time.

Read the words and then maybe you can explain it to me :

The world’s so full of bad news, it’s twisting up my head

I think I’ll take two aspirins and retire to my bed

Conspiracies and crime and leaders oh so bad

All whirl around my brain box and it’s making me quite mad

Honesty is terminal, truth bleeds out its life

On a planet torn by violence and hunger, pain and strife

It makes me oh so angry to look upon this trash

And it’s given me a headache and a nasty little rash

Restful sleep eludes me, thoughts a boiling pot

Peace of mind, some gremlin has taken all I’ve got

Calm and cool two gentle moods I lost a long time back

My shrink don’t know just where they went, so I’ve given him the sack

I think I need a holiday, a break from rotten news

A stroll along the promenade to lengthen up my fuse

I’d love to leave this city, to go live by a wood

If I ever have the wherewithal, I think I really should

Where’s the point of fretting and grinding down your teeth

Go and fly a kite down on the common or the heath

But watch out for the bears, hiding in them there trees

They’re not the kind that eat you, but they’ll have you on your knees

Macho Man

Another Tony Groves song to blast us off in to the New Year…

Morning after the night before? Know the feeling! I think Tony catches the bravado and the despair in this lyric so I hope my music does it justice. The guitar solo was a bit of a bugger, tho’

Happy New Year to you all!

Here’s the lyrics :

Head off home 
Pub now closed

Fags and lighter 
In shirt pocket

Back at home 
Flick on TV

Boots on table 
Mud on boots

Grip bottle by neck
 Spin lid with thumb

Swig it down
 Grit your teeth
Find madness in life’s bitter dish
Eat like a mouse and drink like a fish
Cling by nails and lose my grip
Cling by nails and feel them slip
Driven insane by worry and fears
Driven to drink that flows in tears
Frustration and anger tear apart
Noise in my head and pain in my heart

Can’t face food
 Light up instead

Watch stand-up show
 But see no joke

Drink some more
 Until you choke
TV now off
 Screen of black
Like the demon 
On your back
Thoughts so mad
 Clamour and crowd

Limbo the place I’ve come to dwell
Emotions a prison, my home a cell
Thoughts they tumble, twist and whine
Thoughts so odd they can’t be mine
Drown them with the cheapest drink
But drunk or sober, just think, think, think
Nobody to tell the things in my head
Solitary drinker, alone in my bed

Struggle on while heaving a sigh
Try to be strong though starting to cry
Did karma bring me this sorry state
Or was it a cold, cruel twist of fate
Escape to sleep is only too brief
Ponder if death would be a relief

Not too sane 
But plenty loud
Drink some more 
Heave a sigh

Fall to knees
 Begin to cry
Lonely man…

Shit Christmas

For the last couple of years, I have been sending songs across to my blogger friend Dioclese who eventually persuaded me that I should start this blog. The way it works is that I do the music and he puts videos to it and sticks them out on his blog.

It’s become a bit of a tradition that we do a Christmas song together so ever hopeful that it will raise a laugh or even go viral on YouTube, here’s the 2012 offering with video by him and words by my lyrical friend Tony Groves.

Have yourselves a great Christmas!

It’s going to be a cold and lonely Christmas without you

My darling, why did you have to die
If only I’d seen that truck a’coming

You know I wouldn’t have tossed those keys so high

It’s going to be a bloody miserable Christmas without you

If only those wheels had missed your head

Then my darling, my darling Christmas angel

You know you wouldn’t be quite so dead

It’s going to be complete shit this Christmas without you
You know that I’m going to miss your sprouts

One taste and I knew that I’d found my only one

Even though my mother had her doubts

I’m going to hate this Christmas without you

No sex, no presents, and no lunch.

And all because of your two left bloody feet

Well thanks, well just thanks a fucking bunch

It’s bollocks my Christmas is being ruined without you

My mother could well have been quite right

You threw yourself out in front of that truck

Just out of – just out of fucking spite

You think you’ve fucked my Christmas being without you

Well I can tell you that your sister’s looking sleek

You know it seems like ages – since you croaked,
Even though it’s only been a week

Christmas might not be as bad as I was expecting without you

I’ve talked to sis and I think I’m on a winner

As for your mum, well what a star

She’s says that she’s going to cook my dinner

Down the Local

Here’s another song that I’ve composed using the excellent lyric writing of Tony Groves. I’m not sure if Tony meant me to add two of his poems together, but it seemed to me that the first dealt with the somewhat graphic description of life down the local English public house, whilst the second seemed to nicely lead on the after effects the next morning of having too much the night before.

And then, of course, feeling refreshed and renewed we go back and do it all again.

Don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly been there!

Here’s the lyrics if you want to sing along :

Under the bar lurk ancient browns
Trousers stained the punter frowns
One beer too warm, the other too cold
Glasses all soapy, cracked and old
Stools of wood creak and groan
Sitters fidget, curse and moan
Chartless records slide and hiss
Maudlin drinkers take the piss
Carpets glazed and battle worn
Pool table crooked, damp and torn
Toilets smell of bleach and shit
Walls a scrawl with glowering wit
Run off blocked at every loop
Crouton butts in yellow soup
Urine-air as thick as smog
Cigarettes add a choking fog

Our host was once called an ugly pig
With his beer-belly stoop and his obvious wig
See no smiles, but lots of grins
People made daft by boozing sins
Alcohol-retards will annoy
Slapping your back and calling you boy
Some want to argue, others to fight
Some say good day, while the others say goodnight
You know the faces, but wish you did not
You came to the place and look what you got
“CHEERS” on the telly, so cosy and warm
While down at my local the windows storm

So why this compulsion for sickness and pain

To dull my emotions and deaden my brain
A filter tip and a bitter brew
That’s what I need to make me feel new
Brazilian blend so aromatic
Light that stogey, sit real static
Relish the jolt and the smoke of blue
That’s what I need to make me feel new
Strike that match and stir that java
Plenty of time left for life’s palaver
Drinking caffeine  and smoking too
That’s what I need to make me feel new
The grim, weary mornings, such woe create
Making coffee and cigarettes oh so great
So give me the black and give me the blue
Yes, that’s what I need to make me new

That’s what I need to make me new
Down at my local…down the local…

Sleep (Accoustic version)

I hate to waste a good lyric, so here’s the unplugged – some would say unhinged – version of Tony Groves’ song that I’ve added to the album as a sort of bonus track.

One more track to go and this album’s done then I can think about what to do next. Any ideas?