Category Archives: Blues

Happy

Recently I’ve felt the urge to return to my roots with a good ol’ bit of electric blues – so I’ve recorded this little ditty about materiality and happiness.

I think it rocks along quite nicely. Hope you enjoy it!

He’s got a great big house and a fancy car
It seems me that he’s going far
But he ain’t happy
No no he ain’t happy
He’s got an Eye-talian suit and a whole lotta loot
But he ain’t happy

He’s got a highly paid job, and a whole lotta dosh
Got a house in France and a great big yacht
But he ain’t happy?
Oh No, he ain’t happy
It’s great to have wealth but it can’t buy you health
He ain’t happy

He’s got a model wife – likes to spend his money
You know I think that’s – kinda funny
That he ain’t happy
No no he ain’t happy
Busy busy busy – got no time to himself
He ain’t happy

Eats expensive food, drinks expensive wine
You might think that he’s doing fine
But he ain’t happy
Oh No, he ain’t happy
Would you wanna be him? Well I’m glad I’m not
‘cos he ain’t happy

Would you want what he’s got?
I’d rather have my lot
And be happy.

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Filed under Blues

Cheap Wine

Ever been to a party and taken the cheapest bottle of wine you could find hoping to palm it off onto somebody else while you drink the decent stuff – only to find that everybody else brought cheap crap as well? Let’s be honest here. We’ve all done it!

Well serves you right when you wake up the next day with a dose of the trots and the hangover from hell. This song is for you.


Went to a party the other night
Took a few drinks to make me feel alright
Oh man! Did I get it wrong?
That’s why I wrote this song

Cheap wine
Going to your head
Cheap wine
Wishing you were dead
Cheap wine
Stay away
Got no time
For cheap wine

If you wanna feel mellow, you wanna feel fine
If you wanna loosen up and have a real good time
Sink another whisky or sink another beer
But take some advice and give me your ear

It gets real bad
When you’re drinking cheap wine
When your head starts throbbin’
It’s a real bad sign
Take my advice
Try something else instead
Life’s too short for cheap wine

When you wanna take it easy and you wanna kick back
Drinking cheap wine is like a nuclear attack
It goes to your stomach and it goes to your head
And the hangover’s gonna make you wish you were dead

Got no time, got no time, got no time
For cheap wine

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Snowflake

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It’s the bleat of the decade : “Woe is me! I’m really, really upset that people can’t see things my way!” and you hear it all the time, so I thought why not write a song to celebrate the outstanding qualities of the entitlement generation? Not, of course, that they actually seem to have any – but I’d never say that because I wouldn’t want to upset them!

So here it is : “Snowflake”, a song for the millennials. I don’t expect they’ll want to buy it, but never mind.


I like things the way that I like them
I like folk to do what I say
It really upsets me
When people neglect me
Or don’t let me have my own way
The people who think the way I do
Are always invariably right
I’m having my say
So move out of the way
While I throw my toys out the pram

‘cos I’m just a snowflake
I’m thin on the ground
I’m just a snowflake
I don’t hang around
I melt in the sun
It isn’t much fun
I’m there for a minute then gone

I don’t care if I am outnumbered
I don’t care if you disagree
It’s my human right
To put up a fight
‘Cos you’re not important like me
I’m out on the street with my banner
I’m chanting along with the rest
I know what I want
And I want it right now
I don’t care if you think I’m a pest

I can’t see why you have a problem
For me it’s quite easy to see
I’m easily offended
When I feel up ended
‘Cos you’re not agreeing with me
I’m really a sensitive person
I’m really a delicate thing
I damage quite easy
And I feel very queasy
When things are not going my way

Yes, I’m just a snowflake
A delicate thing
I’m just a snowflake
My skin’s really thin
I know I’m a pain
But one drop of rain
Is all that it takes and I’m gone

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Filed under Blues, Humour, Pop

Charitee

Here’s a bit of rocking blues about people making lots of money out of setting up charities.

I’ve never understood what makes an organisation a charity. The rules in the UK seem barmy to me. My local U3A is a charity and as far as I can tell it does nothing that I’d recognise as in any way charitable. I just don’t get it – so let me play it out of my system.

I think this track will make the Greybeard album. The artwork is progressing, but Mrs C has decided it looks too aggressive and that she doesn’t like it so a possible rethink is on the cards…

Sitting in the rain on the corner of the street
Begging money with a cup at my feet
Then a light went off in my brain
I knew my life would never be the same
I think it’s kinda funny
How people make their money
Then it occurred to me
I need to start a charity

I haven’t got a kid and I haven’t got a wife
That didn’t stop me re-writing my life
I went somewhere where the people didn’t now me
And told them how my kid was snatched away
I didn’t have a picture
So I got one from the web
And I told the local papers
How it messed with my head

He didn’t have a mother so I hired him a mum
We put on the telly – she was giving it some
The tears were flowing and so was the cash
Nobody suspected it was all a load of trash
I needed an office
So I bought a big house
And a couple of cars
One each for me and my spouse

I’m not doing
Anything wrong
The money’s rolling in
It didn’t take long
To get my story out
For people to feel sorry
And give me loads and loads
Of hard earned lolly

We printed lot of posters for everyone to see
And the company that printed them was owned by me
We got rich quick you know it didn’t take long
And then I wrote a book telling how it went wrong
It’s a best seller
It’s serialed in the Sundays
The movie rights went stellar!
The book tour starts on Monday

Get yourself a charity
Easy as your ABC
All you needs a story
And you could be as rich as me

We never looked back
I think it’s kinda funny
How people feel good
By giving me their money

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Filed under Blues, Rock

My Fascinating Facebook Friend

Frankly I’m not a big fan of Facebook.

For some reason, people follow this site using Facebook and I’ve never really understood way they don’t just read the blog. And what’s the fascination about publishing every little details of your life on line? You’re not that interesting.

Anyhow this is the final track of the Greybeard album. I nearly didn’t include it and then somebody left me a nasty message on Facebook, so I thought “Bugger It!” and here it is

There’s nothing interesting ‘bout the life you lead
Why do you share it? What is it you need?
There’s nothing that you’re writing that I would want to read
I haven’t got the time to waste to worry about you
You’re not that fascinating – I’ve better things to do

Stop filling up your Facebook with your so called friends
You’re really really boring and you’re never gonna trend
Stop putting out that rubbish to tell us what you do
You’re not that clever – I couldn’t give a damn!
We don’t need you to tell us every time that you take a poo

I don’t wanna read your facebook – be your friend to you
I’d rather pluck my eyes out than follow you
I really have to tell you tho’ you’ll think that I’m being mean
Your writing style is rotten, maybe Twitter’s more your scene
You’re filling up my home page with all your lousy dross

I have got news for you – you’re a sad little twat
There’s nothing that you say or do that means a lot
I know that you think we’re hanging on every little word
It don’t revolve round you and your fascinating stuff
There’s a great big world around us – funnily enough

There’s nothing interesting ‘bout the life you lead
Why do you share it? What is it you need?
There’s nothing that you’re writing I would want to read
There’s nothing that you’re doing I want to see

There’s nothing that you’re doing I want to see
I haven’t got the time to waste to worry about you
You’re not that fascinating – I’ve better things to do

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Filed under Blues, Latin, Pop

Boo Hoo Hoo

Feeling old? Can’t cut it any more?
Then this song is about you!

I used to be a jack the lad
Now I look in the mirror and I see my dad
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m not as young as I used to be
Boo hoo

Got arthritis in my playing hand
That’s why they kicked me out the band
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
Can’t play those licks like I used to do
Boo hoo

My hairs fallen out and my beards grey
Seems to me that I’ve had my day
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
And I worry ‘bout my beer gut
Boo hoo

Wake up in the morning with a pain my head
Sometimes it’s an effort getting out of bed
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m gonna keep rocking ‘til the day I’m dead
Boo hoo hoo

I miss the days I was on the stage
Now people tell me I should act my age
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
But I’m still glad I’m me not you
Boo hoo hoo
Boo hoo

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Hole in the Head

Somewhat reminiscent of a slowed down ZZ Top ‘La Grange’ riff in retrospect, but think of it as a homage to the Texan threesome who are one of my favourite bands.

You stole my money and you drank my booze
You made me unhappy and you made me blue
When I called you up you were never at home
Don’t know where you were but you weren’t on your own

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

You twisted the knife, tried to screw up my life
But my skin grew thick – I got used to your lies
No I shouldn’t be happy living without you
But I’m sick and tired of the things you do

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

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Filed under Blues, Rock