Category Archives: Rock

Cheap Wine

Ever been to a party and taken the cheapest bottle of wine you could find hoping to palm it off onto somebody else while you drink the decent stuff – only to find that everybody else brought cheap crap as well? Let’s be honest here. We’ve all done it!

Well serves you right when you wake up the next day with a dose of the trots and the hangover from hell. This song is for you.


Went to a party the other night
Took a few drinks to make me feel alright
Oh man! Did I get it wrong?
That’s why I wrote this song

Cheap wine
Going to your head
Cheap wine
Wishing you were dead
Cheap wine
Stay away
Got no time
For cheap wine

If you wanna feel mellow, you wanna feel fine
If you wanna loosen up and have a real good time
Sink another whisky or sink another beer
But take some advice and give me your ear

It gets real bad
When you’re drinking cheap wine
When your head starts throbbin’
It’s a real bad sign
Take my advice
Try something else instead
Life’s too short for cheap wine

When you wanna take it easy and you wanna kick back
Drinking cheap wine is like a nuclear attack
It goes to your stomach and it goes to your head
And the hangover’s gonna make you wish you were dead

Got no time, got no time, got no time
For cheap wine

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Charitee

Here’s a bit of rocking blues about people making lots of money out of setting up charities.

I’ve never understood what makes an organisation a charity. The rules in the UK seem barmy to me. My local U3A is a charity and as far as I can tell it does nothing that I’d recognise as in any way charitable. I just don’t get it – so let me play it out of my system.

I think this track will make the Greybeard album. The artwork is progressing, but Mrs C has decided it looks too aggressive and that she doesn’t like it so a possible rethink is on the cards…

Sitting in the rain on the corner of the street
Begging money with a cup at my feet
Then a light went off in my brain
I knew my life would never be the same
I think it’s kinda funny
How people make their money
Then it occurred to me
I need to start a charity

I haven’t got a kid and I haven’t got a wife
That didn’t stop me re-writing my life
I went somewhere where the people didn’t now me
And told them how my kid was snatched away
I didn’t have a picture
So I got one from the web
And I told the local papers
How it messed with my head

He didn’t have a mother so I hired him a mum
We put on the telly – she was giving it some
The tears were flowing and so was the cash
Nobody suspected it was all a load of trash
I needed an office
So I bought a big house
And a couple of cars
One each for me and my spouse

I’m not doing
Anything wrong
The money’s rolling in
It didn’t take long
To get my story out
For people to feel sorry
And give me loads and loads
Of hard earned lolly

We printed lot of posters for everyone to see
And the company that printed them was owned by me
We got rich quick you know it didn’t take long
And then I wrote a book telling how it went wrong
It’s a best seller
It’s serialed in the Sundays
The movie rights went stellar!
The book tour starts on Monday

Get yourself a charity
Easy as your ABC
All you needs a story
And you could be as rich as me

We never looked back
I think it’s kinda funny
How people feel good
By giving me their money

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Greybeard

Here’s the title track from the next album which does seem to have developed a theme about being a bit of an oldie. It wasn’t intentional but then it might have something to do with my qualifying for my State Pension later this year?

I’ll get around to uploading it onto the music stores once I’ve sorted out the artwork but in the meantime just crank the volume up and enjoy a good old bit of rock ‘n’ roll!

Modern music just leaves me cold
People say it’s ‘cos I’m getting too old
Don’t play me hip hop or R&B
Load of junk is what it seems to be
I know the stuff that I like to play
So leave me alone and let me have my say
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
My kids think I’m crazy but really I don’t care
I got the answer, I do it my way
I got rock and roll

Don’t worry about the things I’ve said
I don’t know what’s running through my head
Punching a clock is a thing I hate
I’m never been punctual and I’m always late
It doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter a damn
I’m too busy being who I am…!
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
People look through me like I’m n ot even there
I don’t care, I do it my way
I got rock and roll

Meet people – don’t know who they are
When I go for a drink down my favourite bar
Laughing and joking ‘til it’s time to leave
Then can’t remember where I parked the car
Walking home, all alone
Catchy tune running through my head…
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
They all think I’m senile that I’m not all there
But I ain’t crazy ‘cos I know what I like
And I like that rock and roll

I got a Les Paul Custom and a Fender Strat
I got aviator glasses and a real cool hat
I got an AC30 with real valves
And a HiWatt amp on a six foot stack
Crank it up and let it rip
Let’s hear that rock and roll!
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
They say I’m too old to rock but I don’t really care
I’ll prove ‘em all wrong and I’ll play what I like
‘cos I love that rock ‘n’ roll

I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
You know I’m gonna keep rocking ‘cos it’s only fair
That I do what I love and I love what I do
‘cos I love that rock ‘n’ roll

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Filed under Rock

Boo Hoo Hoo

Feeling old? Can’t cut it any more?
Then this song is about you!

I used to be a jack the lad
Now I look in the mirror and I see my dad
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m not as young as I used to be
Boo hoo

Got arthritis in my playing hand
That’s why they kicked me out the band
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
Can’t play those licks like I used to do
Boo hoo

My hairs fallen out and my beards grey
Seems to me that I’ve had my day
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
And I worry ‘bout my beer gut
Boo hoo

Wake up in the morning with a pain my head
Sometimes it’s an effort getting out of bed
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m gonna keep rocking ‘til the day I’m dead
Boo hoo hoo

I miss the days I was on the stage
Now people tell me I should act my age
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
But I’m still glad I’m me not you
Boo hoo hoo
Boo hoo

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Hole in the Head

Somewhat reminiscent of a slowed down ZZ Top ‘La Grange’ riff in retrospect, but think of it as a homage to the Texan threesome who are one of my favourite bands.

You stole my money and you drank my booze
You made me unhappy and you made me blue
When I called you up you were never at home
Don’t know where you were but you weren’t on your own

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

You twisted the knife, tried to screw up my life
But my skin grew thick – I got used to your lies
No I shouldn’t be happy living without you
But I’m sick and tired of the things you do

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Moan Moan Moan

Here’s another Dioclese video, this time about people who never stop complaining. We got a bit of stick last week for complaining about Alice Springs so we thought we’d redress the balance with a song about moaning.

Dio tells me there were a couple on the boat on his Aus trip who never stopped complaining. They were Australians!

This song is dedicated to them. Thanks for the inspiration.

Nobody likes a whinger
Why can’t you take the hint
Just cheer up and crack a smile
Don’t be sour faced bint
Be happy – it’ll make a change
Radiate sunshine and turn off the rain
Turn your life round for the better
Stop being such a miserable sod

Moan moan moan
That’s why you’re on your own
Moan moan moan
It’s never ending
Moan moan moan
You’re becoming a pest!

There’s no point in moaning
Complaining will get you nowhere
Especially if you’re deluding yourself
There’s people out there that care
Get the message – no-one’s listening
They don’t give a toss what you think
It’s just that their standards are lower than your’s
Look at how low they can sink

Moan moan moan
Nobody likes a whinger
Moan moan moan
Can’t you give it a rest?
Moan moan moan

The summer’s too hot
The winter’s too cold
Why are there people
Who just won’t be told
The bed is too hard
The chair is too soft
The light is too bright
And my food is cold

Moan moan moan
You’re going on and on
Moan moan moan
Can’t you give it a rest?
Moan moan moan
You’re becoming a pest!

The food in this restaurant
Is simply not up to scratch
The seats too hard – I can’t see the stage
That man is too tall – he should take off his hat
There’s nothing on telly worth watching
The shops are full of old tat
It’s not like it was in the old days
Why can’t it more like that

Moan moan moan
The movies too long
Moan moan moan
That song is too short
Moan moan moan
The air con’s too cold
Moan moan moan
The heating’s too hot
It’s all unacceptable
Why won’t you be told?
Just give it a rest!

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Filed under Pop, Rock

Always Right and Never Wrong

If I had the balls, I’d dedicate this track to my dear wife who unfortunately has been frequently proved to be right more often than I am!

This is a song about intransigence and failing to see the other person’s point of view. It’s not directed at anyone in particular. Honestly.

Here’s the lyrics :

There’s nothing I can say or do
To make my opinion matter to you
So pardon me but I can’t see
Why your opinion should matter to me
What makes you think you’re always right
Even when you’re spouting shite
The arguments go on and on
You won’t admit you could be wrong

It doesn’t matter – come what may
You always have to have it your way
You simply carry on and on
You won’t concede you may be wrong
You’re always going to see it your way
It doesn’t matter – come what may
It goes in one ear out the other
It’s my opinion that you smother

Truth or lies – It’s you decides
I see the cynicism in your eyes
You think that I can’t see the light
You seem to think I’m never right

You like to win – to go for glory
You can’t see both sides of the story
It doesn’t matter – come what may
You’re always going to see it your way
The arguments go on and on
You won’t admit you could be wrong

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Filed under Rock