Cheap Beer and Cigarettes (unplugged)

Continuing with the ‘Unplugged’ album, here’s a reworking of the title track from the ‘Cheap beer…” album

Right click here to download this track

Of course, if you prefer the electric version, you can find it [here]

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Goodbye to an old friend

Today is a sad day for me as a very old friend who I lost touch with for many years before finding him again is having his funeral today.

Paul Wakely was my best mate back in the late sixties. He was a true character (see chapter 4 of my memoirs). I’ve asked Dioclese to paste a tribute to him over at his place because he deserves more coverage than this humble blog can give him.

In his memory, here’s a song off the ‘Old Friends’ album that Paul wrote the lyrics for back in 1996.

RIP, me old mate!

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Politicians (unplugged)

FFS,Boris! It works better if your hand is the other side of the capo!

FFS,Boris! It works better if your hand is the other side of the capo!

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing an unplugged album for a little while prompted by my better half who suggests that because I do mainly electric stuff, she’d rather like me to do something that I can just get up on my own and play live.

Well this track isn’t quite that, but you could strip off the additional instruments and see how it could work. So, with the general election in mind, what better track to start off with than an accoustic rework of ‘Politicians’ off the ‘Who Needs TV?’ album?

Perfect music for a general election!

Right click here to download this track

Of course, if you prefer the electric version, you can find it [here]

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Take It Easy

Here’s the final track off the ‘New Tricks’ album and the page is set up for covers and trak listings so feel free to help yourself.

A lot of this album has been about me letting off a bit of steam, banging out some rock or getting back to some good old blues, so I thought I’d finish with something a bit different; something mellow and laid back.

Right click here to download this track

Let’s take an aeroplane
Jet off to the sun
Let’s just get away from everyone
Don’t need the hassle
Don’t need the pain
Lie in the sun and release that strain

Take it easy
Kick on back
Take it easy
Feel the sun on our backs
No need to worry
For a week or two
Take it easy

Good conversation
Over a drink
Releases my mind, gives me time to think
Forget the work load
Forget all the stress
Really doesn’t matter if back home is a mess

Take it easy
It’s easy to see
Take it easy
It’s working for me
Get away
And lie in the sun
Just take it easy

Modern living
Is taking its toll
Wears out your body and it wears out your soul
Not that it matters
At the end of the day
There’s time for working and there’s time for play

Take it easy
Find a way
Take it easy
Whatever you say
You feel that stress
Draining away
Take it easy

Take it easy
It’s easy to do
Take it easy
Make it work for you
It’s the only answer
At the end of the day
Take it easy

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Filed under Accoustic, Pop

F**k You!

In the interests of going back to bad language (shock, horror), I’ve produced this little gem of unbridled vitriol. I’m not actually sure why it popped into my head but I think it might have had something to do with the unrelenting barrage of bullshit I get from my neighbours or perhaps somebody pissed me off. I can’t actually remember to be honest.

Still, here it is and possibly the final track of the New Tricks album which I shall be releasing just as soon as I’ve had a chance to produce the artwork. An artist’s work is just never done.

Right click here to download this track

I don’t really care
If you feel down on your luck
I know you have your problems
But I couldn’t give a fuck
You need to get back on your feet
And pick yourself back up
It’s really really simply how I feel about you…

Fuck you
I don’t care what you do
Fuck you
Keep your problems to yourself
Fuck you
It really doesn’t matter; it’s not that big a deal
Fuck you

You know it doesn’t matter
I have my problems too
But unlike you I wouldn’t try
To dump them all on you
I rise above the little things
And I try to keep my head
But if can’t do the same then this is my advice to you…

Life can be a bastard
If you let it get to you
But you can turn a sniffle
Into a bout of flu
Your life is full of dramas
But they could be a whole lot worse
So please don’t dump your shit on me, you horrid little worm

You need to get perspective
You need to get a grip
You’d be a whole lot better
If you just weren’t such a prick
I never really liked you
So I guess I must confess
‘Cos you turn relaxation into never ending stress

I’m glad that we have cleared the air
And I’m glad we got it straight
It isn’t love I feel for you
You’ll never be my mate
It’s because of all the bullshit
That you dump on my plate
That the only thing I feel for you is unremitted hate!

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Let Me Drive Your Car

I was criticised a bit on my last offering for the language involved but never mind – as it says in the header “Approval is not required.”

Anyhow, with due deference to those of you who might have been mortally offended, this is a somewhat more sedate offering. As my regulars will know, I have always been a blues man first and foremost and this is pure blues. And if you want to read lots of sexual inuendo into it, then all I can say is you’ve got a dirty mind!

Incidentally, I’ve expanded the ‘My Life’ section of this blog to include not just my memoirs but a detailed and extensive family history.

Right click here to download this track

I can fast or I can go slow
I can go any speed that you want me to go
Let me drive your car
Let me drive your car
We could go far if you’d only
Let me drive your car

You got sleek bodywork and a comfortable seat
Just climb in the back and put up your feet
Let me drive your car
Let me drive your car
Just relaxey-vous
And let me drive your car

Anywhere you like that’s where we’ll go
Where this is leading us we’ll never know
You never know – we could go far
Anything is possible, driving your car

We could go to the left, we could go to the right
We can go anyway makes you feel alright
Let me drive your car
Let me drive your car
You’ll enjoy the ride if
You only let me drive your car

It’s no fun driving on your own
It’s no fun being all alone
You need some company than I’m your man
Not just your driver but your number one fan

I can tune your engine, I can turn your wheels
Polish your bodywork if that’s how you feel
Let me drive your car
Let me drive your car
I could be just the driver you need
Let me drive your car

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My friend Dioclese went off on a jaunt to Madagascar to take a look at the lemurs – but judging from the poem he sent me, he didn’t have a lot of luck!

Anyway, it was too good to waste so I set it music and he sent me back this video. I’ve printed his words below. It made me laugh!

Right click here to download this track

We went to Madagascar to take a look around
Went hiking through the jungle to see what could be found
We saw a lot of geckos crawling on the ground
But there’s one thing that we never saw no matter how we traipsed around
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” we heard the tourists shout
“We came to see the monkeys but there’s bugger all about”

We went off on a jungle hike with a friendly local guide
She showed us lots of trees and stuff – her knowledge was quite wide
We asked about the lemurs. We asked her where they hide
She said they’re all around us but they’re really rather shy
“So where’s the fucking lemurs?” that’s what we want to know
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” The buggers never showed

I’ve seen a leaf tailed gecko and I’ve seen a wide mouthed frog
I saw a big black spider sitting on a log
It isn’t like we didn’t try – we hunted high and low
But we never saw a lemur. Just why I’ll never know!
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” Where do the buggers go
Where are the bastards hiding – that’s what I want to know!

There’s lots of different lemurs – black and white and brown
There were some here just the other day but there’s none around right now
It seems we came too early, there were loads after we left
So we tried arriving later – but when we’re not here’s best!
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” There’s none around just now
It seems they’re more elusive than a green striped flying cow

So if you come to Madagascar to see these little chaps
Then I wish you the best of luck – ‘co s it’s not an easy task
You see a lot of jungle and you take what you get
And if you thought chameleons were hard to spot then you ain’t nothing yet!
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” I guess we’ll never now
“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” They’re nowhere that we go

“Where’s the fucking lemurs?” The buggers never showed
“Did we see the fucking lemurs?” The simple answer’s ‘No!’

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Filed under Funk, Humour