Greybeard

Here’s the title track from the next album which does seem to have developed a theme about being a bit of an oldie. It wasn’t intentional but then it might have something to do with my qualifying for my State Pension later this year?

I’ll get around to uploading it onto the music stores once I’ve sorted out the artwork but in the meantime just crank the volume up and enjoy a good old bit of rock ‘n’ roll!

Modern music just leaves me cold
People say it’s ‘cos I’m getting too old
Don’t play me hip hop or R&B
Load of junk is what it seems to be
I know the stuff that I like to play
So leave me alone and let me have my say
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
My kids think I’m crazy but really I don’t care
I got the answer, I do it my way
I got rock and roll

Don’t worry about the things I’ve said
I don’t know what’s running through my head
Punching a clock is a thing I hate
I’m never been punctual and I’m always late
It doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter a damn
I’m too busy being who I am…!
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
People look through me like I’m n ot even there
I don’t care, I do it my way
I got rock and roll

Meet people – don’t know who they are
When I go for a drink down my favourite bar
Laughing and joking ‘til it’s time to leave
Then can’t remember where I parked the car
Walking home, all alone
Catchy tune running through my head…
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
They all think I’m senile that I’m not all there
But I ain’t crazy ‘cos I know what I like
And I like that rock and roll

I got a Les Paul Custom and a Fender Strat
I got aviator glasses and a real cool hat
I got an AC30 with real valves
And a HiWatt amp on a six foot stack
Crank it up and let it rip
Let’s hear that rock and roll!
I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
They say I’m too old to rock but I don’t really care
I’ll prove ‘em all wrong and I’ll play what I like
‘cos I love that rock ‘n’ roll

I got a grey beard, I got silver hair
You know I’m gonna keep rocking ‘cos it’s only fair
That I do what I love and I love what I do
‘cos I love that rock ‘n’ roll

Leave a comment

Filed under Rock

Boo Hoo Hoo

Feeling old? Can’t cut it any more?
Then this song is about you!

I used to be a jack the lad
Now I look in the mirror and I see my dad
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m not as young as I used to be
Boo hoo

Got arthritis in my playing hand
That’s why they kicked me out the band
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
Can’t play those licks like I used to do
Boo hoo

My hairs fallen out and my beards grey
Seems to me that I’ve had my day
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
And I worry ‘bout my beer gut
Boo hoo

Wake up in the morning with a pain my head
Sometimes it’s an effort getting out of bed
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
I’m gonna keep rocking ‘til the day I’m dead
Boo hoo hoo

I miss the days I was on the stage
Now people tell me I should act my age
Boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
But I’m still glad I’m me not you
Boo hoo hoo
Boo hoo

Leave a comment

Filed under Blues, Rock

Hole in the Head

Somewhat reminiscent of a slowed down ZZ Top ‘La Grange’ riff in retrospect, but think of it as a homage to the Texan threesome who are one of my favourite bands.

You stole my money and you drank my booze
You made me unhappy and you made me blue
When I called you up you were never at home
Don’t know where you were but you weren’t on your own

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

You twisted the knife, tried to screw up my life
But my skin grew thick – I got used to your lies
No I shouldn’t be happy living without you
But I’m sick and tired of the things you do

The things that you did and the things that you said
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head
That’s why I miss you like a hole in the head
Like a hole in the head

Leave a comment

Filed under Blues, Rock

Counting C**ts in Cromer

An unusual title inspired by a certain pain in the neck (you know who you are) and my little homage to Ian Dury and his classic ditty “Billericay Dickie” off the “New Boots and Panties” album which has always been a favourite of mine.

The Blockheads are still going and putting out the occasional classic but somehow they’ve never quite been the same without Ian. I’d think he would have had a chuckle at this little number!

I’ve encountered cunts in Cromer
And dicks in Billericay
There’s lots of twats in Twickers
And fools in Faversham
I’ve come across dicks in Didsbury
And arses in Bordeaux
I’m truly international
I don’t mind where I go
There’s stupid people everywhere
From Kent to St Nazaire
There’s silly cows in Moscow
They’re everywhere you know!

There’s people who will take the piss
No matter where they dwell
And they think I’ll just take it
But I can dish it out as well
I find there are opinions
That get right up my nose
And those who will pontificate
And like to preen and pose
I’ve got no time for anyone
Who carries on that way
It’s just a waste of effort
To listen to what they say

And as I travel round the world
It’s amazing what I find
There’s wankers everywhere you look
You’d think they’d all go blind
I’ve met them on the ocean
I’ve met them on the land
I’ve seen them in the desert
Cavourting in the sand
You simply can’t escape them
It’s such a sorry tale
If you think you can avoid them
Then I think you’ll find you fail

It’s the same the whole world over
No matter near or far
There’s fools that go by bicycle
There’s twats that go by car
There’s arseholes riding aeroplanes
There’s some that go by bus
But no matter how they got there
They like to make a fuss
They like to tell me what to think
And tell me what to do
But I’m not really listening
It’s such a bally hoo!

Leave a comment

Filed under Accoustic, Blues, Punk

Keeping On

Keeping on is a song about not giving up until you drop. I think, anyway. It just kind of dropped out of my head after a couple of glasses of red one evening while I was messing about with a bottleneck on the Strat.

Not off the bottle I was drinking at the time I hasten to add!

People keep on dying
People keep on trying
Babies keep crying
Snoopers keep on prying
Preachers keep praying
While hookers keep laying
Teachers keep teaching
While the dogs keep baying
Just keep on
Just gotta keep on keeping on

Drivers keep on driving
While the swimmers keep on swimming
Jumpers keep jumping
Singers keep singing
Losers keep losing
While the winners keep winning
Climbers keep climbing
And the swingers keep swinging
Just gotta keep on
Just gotta keep on keeping on

Drinkers keep drinking
And the smokers keep smoking
Sailors keep sailing
While the stokers keep stoking
Workers keep working
And the shirkers keep shirking
Writers keep writing
Thinkers keep thinking
Just gotta keep on
Just gotta keep on keeping on

Hopers keep on hoping
Copers keep on coping
Players keep on playing
Prayers keep on praying
Walkers keep on walking
Talkers keep on talking
Tryers keep on trying
Liars keep on lying

Who knows if we ain’t got long
We just gotta keep on keeping on

Leave a comment

Filed under Blues

Naturally Superior

Just once in a while you come across somebody who is just so far up his own backside and stuffed full of his own self importance that you just have to play it out of your system. That’s why I wrote this song!

Here’s the lyrics :

Anyone can see that you’re not as good as me
What makes you think that you should be?
Some of us deserve the best things in life
It’s simply not you – it’s me!

I’m naturally superior
It’s just the way it is
Naturally superior
Breeding gives me the edge
Naturally superior
Anyone can see
Naturally superior
You’re not as good as me!

Some of us are leaders, others follow on
We know what’s best for you
Some of you aren’t able to think for yourselves
So we’ll tell you what to do
Some of us have taste, some of us have none
That’s the difference between me and you
It’s not that I want it that way
It’s just the way it is

Naturally superior
I got the silver spoon
Naturally superior
You got the short straw I got the long
Naturally superior
It’s obvious to me
Naturally superior
You’re not important like me!

Natural selection
It’s Darwinian fact
Breeding makes a difference
It’s something I’ve got
That the rest of you lack

I drive a Bentley, you drive a Ford
I’ve got lots of stuff that you can’t afford
I know my place in the scheme of things
It’s important that you do too
I eat at the Ritz on a silver service
You eat McDonalds on a cardboard plate
I go to the opera while you watch TV
That’s why you’re not as good as me

Leave a comment

Filed under Accoustic, Humour

Bland Aid 31 – The 2015 Christmas song

It’s that time of year again when I get together with my good friend Dioclese to produce our Christmas Song. It’s become a bit of a Christmas tradition after all these years.

This year, I decided to bastardise Band Aid. After all, they made a lot of money with this song so why shouldn’t I? You never know – it could make the Christmas number one!

Merry Christmas to you all and thanks for listening.

Right click here to download this track

We sitting round
In the burning sun
It that time
When de white man come
And he give us lots of money
So we never have to work
And dat is how we know
It Christmas time

So spare a thought
For de poor white man
Who has to work
Work hard doing what he can
To earn an honest living
Wishing he could be like me
Hanging out and chillin’
And drinking ice cold beer
Sitting in de sunshine
Underneath a shady tree
Knowing it will soon
Be Christmas time

And we won’t be going short ‘round here dis Christmas
‘Cos there’s loads of stuff arriving every day
And the trucks dey keep on coming
And de dosh keep rolling in
It’s Christmas time
There’s plenty for us all

Sitting round drinking beer and having fun
Lazing round underneath de burning sun
It’s Christmas time
That time we do fuck all!

Send the money!
We don’t care – it’s Christmas time
Truck de food in!
Save us working in de fields
Send de workers!
Build us houses, build us schools
Keep it coming!
We t’ink you’re a load of fools
Life is easy!
That’s how we know it Christmas time
Bugger working!
Just wait round for Christmas time
Oh no – it Lenny Henry!

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour