Everybody’s After My Money

Do you every have one of those days when you get bombarded with unsolicited junk mail and loads of spam on your email. Or maybe there’s some bloke in Nigeria with $20,000,000 that some rich dictator has salted away he wants you help him launder.

Then just as you feel you’re about to scream, the phone rings and some tosser t trying to ask you about that accident you never had, or the PPI you were mis-sold or, even better, you answer and there’s nobody there at all?

Well, if you’re having one of those days then here’s another track off Cutting Up Rough that was written just for you. Pour yourself a stiff drink, kick back and enjoy!

I get a load of email every single day
Saying life would be much better if I just did things their way
I could settle by instalments or stick on my card
And for such a great improvement it’s a tiny price to pay
The offers are quite tempting it’s sad to have to tell
They’re tailored to my every need and suit me very well
It’s amazing how they seem to know exactly what I need
I suspect that they’ve been plugging into my Twitter feed
Everybody’s after my money
Seems to me that it’s rather funny
Everybody’s after my money

They say that I could lose three stone by eating diet food
But it gives me diahorrea and gets me running to the loo
And then there was this coupon site that promised me cheap booze
So I thought I might give that a try I’ve nothing much to lose
They said a simple survey was all I’d need to give
To unlock lots of coupon codes and save me loads of quids
But after forty pages I was getting pretty bored
And they’re using all the info to flog me even more
Everybody’s after my dosh
All feeding me a load of old tosh
Everybody’s after my money

I get a load of phone calls from a bloke in Bangla Desh
Sometimes there’s no one there at all it’s really quite a mess
The ask me about accidents I’ve never even had
And they say they’ll make a claim for me – it makes me really mad
It seems I could make loads of dosh from missold PPI
It’s a shame I never had some but it’s always worth a try
They say that there’s no win no fee which seems quite odd to me
‘Cos I can’t believe the buggers would do anything for free

I’m always on the lookout for a way to make some lolly
A business opportunity that that doesn’t look too funny
It seems there’s this dictator that’s died somewhere out east
And it all looks very dodgy to say the very least
His widow wants to give be dosh to get in her hod
And she’ll give me a percentage as a sweetener for the job
It’s looking very simple she just needs my bank account
And when she’s got my password she will empty it all out
Everybody’s after my dough
No way they’re gonna get it though
Everybody’s after my money

There’s an offer on my broadband that will give me greater speed
There’s a cheaper car insurance that will meet my every need
There’s sales in every shop I see when I walk out my door
And everyone is telling me that I could save much more
There’s not a price on anything just how much money’s off
And I’ve got a dozen credit cards that pay each other off
They give balance transfers that come with interest free
So I never pay for anything and that sounds good to me
Everybody’s after my money
Welcome to the land of milk and honey
Everybody’s after my money
You know I think it’s kinda funny
That why they’re all giving it their bunny
I ain’t got no money!


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Filed under Blues, Pop, Rock

Snow on the Roof

Sometimes I’m told I’m a bit long in the tooth for the malarky, but I’m a lot younger than people like Mick Jagger, Clapton, Cliff and many others of my generation so I’ll just ignore all that and keep going anyway ‘cos I love the music.

So much so in fact that I wrote this song. And it seems that there’s a few people out there who agree with me because it’s getting a good few plays on Spotify and the other streaming sites.

I got the rock
I got the roll
I got the music down in my soul
I got the rhythm
I got the blues
Ain’t nothing else will do

Give me the beat that moves my feet
That makes me wanna dance
But don’t you tell me that I’m too old
‘Cos this is what I’ll say to you

There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar
I love that rock ’n’ roll
Listen to me I gotta tell ya
There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar

I got the moves
I got the beat
I got those dancing feet
I got the style
I got the scene
Don’t you know what I mean?

Give me the rhythm give me the blues
There’s nothing else will do
But don’t you tell me that I can’t rock
‘Cos I’ll carry on until I drop

Give me the beat that moves my feet
And gets down in my soul
There’s just one thing that I’ll never be
I’ll never be too old

There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar
And you’re never too old to rock
You won’t stop me ‘cos I tell ya
There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar

There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar
And I love that rock ’n’ roll
Listen to me I gotta tell ya
There’s snow on the roof
But there’s a fire in the cellar

A fire in the cellar

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Move It

OK – I admit it. I like Cliff Richard. I’ve been to see him many times. I was at Wembley Stadium for ‘The Event’, seen him at the Albert Hall, Birmingham NEC and a few other venues.

Recently I went to see him at a somewhat smaller venue. I staggers me how he manages to perform with the energy that he does when he’s well into his 70s.

Anyhow, he’s recently recorded a new version of ‘Move it’ so I thought “I’ll do one too”. Rather arrogantly perhaps, I don’t like the new verse in the 2017 version, so I’ve rewritten it. I’ve also combined the original and 2017 styles mainly because I couldn’t make my mind up!

So here’s my tribute to the indomitable Cliff Richard :

Come on pretty baby, let’s move it and groove it
Well a shake-a baby shake, oh! honey please don’t lose it.
It’s rhythm that “gets you” in your heart and soul
Let me tell you baby; it’s called rock ’n’roll.
They say, it’s gonna die but honey let’s face it;
They just don’t know what’s-a goin’ to replace it.
Ballads’ and calypsos’, they’ve got nothing on
Real country music that drives along.

Come on pretty baby let’s move it an’ a groove it
Dance honey dance baby please don’t lose it
Clicking your fingers and shuffling your feet
Everybody’s dancing to a brand new beat
Gotta get ready ‘cos the times they are a’changing
It’s called rock and roll it’s the music that we’re makin’
Gonna keep rocking til the day I die
Listen to it honey and you’ll soon know why

Honey move it

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Filed under Pop, Rock

Another Gig

The new album is up and running on all the major streaming and digital sales sites.

This is a song about life on the road, shitty transit vans and even shittier venues. If you’ve ever played in a band then you know just what it’s like

Do you recall those heady days
Those hectic times when we had it all
It slipped away
You know we had some fun – along the way

Another night, another stage
A set to play before we go
Collect our pay then we’re on our way
To another rough dive
In another town

Down the road there’s one more gig to play
Another gig, a gig for us to play
Five young guys in a beat up van
We’re on our way
There’s one more gig to play

It gets you down and you wonder why
You carry on and do it anyway
You smoke some pot and the music’s hot
There’s nothing else you’d rather do

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Filed under Rock

Cutting Up Rough

The new album that I’ve been working on for the last few months is now complete. It’s a return to my blues and rock roots and this is the title track.

I’ve uploaded it to the distribution people (I use and highly recommend Distrokid) and it should be available on Amazon, iTunes, Spotify and lots of other streaming and sales sites shortly. If you want to listen to it then please use Spotify because it’s free to use your end and I get paid royalties when you listen in, so we all win!

I’ll post some more tracks over the coming weeks and add an album page to the site when I get the time.

I don’t know where you’re going
I don’t know who you’re with
I don’t know where you’re going
This ain’t no way to live
I’ve had enough
Things are cutting up rough

You’re spending all my money
I can’t tell where it’s gone
You’re spending all my money
Been going on too long
I’ve had enough
Things are cutting up rough

You know that when I met you
I thought you were the one
You know that when I met you
You could do no wrong
Now I’ve had enough
Things are cutting up rough

I don’t know why you did
All the things that you did
I just don’t comprehend
Now I wish it would end
I’ve had enough
Things are cutting up rough

I’m sorry that it’s over
We’ve gone our separate ways
I’m sorry that it’s over
That’s all I want to say
I’ve simply had enough
Things were cutting up rough

It’s kinda tough
But things were cutting up rough

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Filed under Blues, Rock

Shit Happens

The last track I put on here was a bit too merry – so in order to redress the balance, here’s a blues number all about life and how it kicks you in the teeth. All the time. Get over it.

Shit happens every day
It doesn’t matter what you say
Shit happens
You can’t make it go away
Any time and any day
Shit happens

If you lose your wallet on the train
Or grow a tumour in your brain
Shit happens
It’s all the same
It’s just degree – can’t you see?
Shit happens

It’s not like there is something you can do
To stop this bullshit happening to you
You might as well give up and crack a laugh
It’s all part of life’s rich farce

You might think that staying home in bed
Prevents the ceiling falling on your head
But it really doesn’t
Nothing does
You might as well give up because
Shit happens

If you fall down upon your arse
Or your partner leaves and breaks your heart
Shit happens
Every day
Accept that things will fall apart
Shit happens

There’s nothing much that you can do
Shit happens

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Filed under Blues


Recently I’ve felt the urge to return to my roots with a good ol’ bit of electric blues – so I’ve recorded this little ditty about materiality and happiness.

I think it rocks along quite nicely. Hope you enjoy it!

He’s got a great big house and a fancy car
It seems me that he’s going far
But he ain’t happy
No no he ain’t happy
He’s got an Eye-talian suit and a whole lotta loot
But he ain’t happy

He’s got a highly paid job, and a whole lotta dosh
Got a house in France and a great big yacht
But he ain’t happy?
Oh No, he ain’t happy
It’s great to have wealth but it can’t buy you health
He ain’t happy

He’s got a model wife – likes to spend his money
You know I think that’s – kinda funny
That he ain’t happy
No no he ain’t happy
Busy busy busy – got no time to himself
He ain’t happy

Eats expensive food, drinks expensive wine
You might think that he’s doing fine
But he ain’t happy
Oh No, he ain’t happy
Would you wanna be him? Well I’m glad I’m not
‘cos he ain’t happy

Would you want what he’s got?
I’d rather have my lot
And be happy.

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Filed under Blues