For the last couple of years, I have been sending songs across to my blogger friend Dioclese who eventually persuaded me that I should start this blog. The way it works is that I do the music and he puts videos to it and sticks them out on his blog.
It’s become a bit of a tradition that we do a Christmas song together so ever hopeful that it will raise a laugh or even go viral on YouTube, here’s the 2012 offering with video by him and words by my lyrical friend Tony Groves.
Have yourselves a great Christmas!
It’s going to be a cold and lonely Christmas without you
My darling, why did you have to die
If only I’d seen that truck a’coming
You know I wouldn’t have tossed those keys so high
It’s going to be a bloody miserable Christmas without you
If only those wheels had missed your head
Then my darling, my darling Christmas angel
You know you wouldn’t be quite so dead
It’s going to be complete shit this Christmas without you
You know that I’m going to miss your sprouts
One taste and I knew that I’d found my only one
Even though my mother had her doubts
I’m going to hate this Christmas without you
No sex, no presents, and no lunch.
And all because of your two left bloody feet
Well thanks, well just thanks a fucking bunch
It’s bollocks my Christmas is being ruined without you
My mother could well have been quite right
You threw yourself out in front of that truck
Just out of – just out of fucking spite
You think you’ve fucked my Christmas being without you
Well I can tell you that your sister’s looking sleek
You know it seems like ages – since you croaked,
Even though it’s only been a week
Christmas might not be as bad as I was expecting without you
I’ve talked to sis and I think I’m on a winner
As for your mum, well what a star
She’s says that she’s going to cook my dinner