Shit Christmas

For the last couple of years, I have been sending songs across to my blogger friend Dioclese who eventually persuaded me that I should start this blog. The way it works is that I do the music and he puts videos to it and sticks them out on his blog.

It’s become a bit of a tradition that we do a Christmas song together so ever hopeful that it will raise a laugh or even go viral on YouTube, here’s the 2012 offering with video by him and words by my lyrical friend Tony Groves.

Have yourselves a great Christmas!

It’s going to be a cold and lonely Christmas without you

My darling, why did you have to die
If only I’d seen that truck a’coming

You know I wouldn’t have tossed those keys so high

It’s going to be a bloody miserable Christmas without you

If only those wheels had missed your head

Then my darling, my darling Christmas angel

You know you wouldn’t be quite so dead

It’s going to be complete shit this Christmas without you
You know that I’m going to miss your sprouts

One taste and I knew that I’d found my only one

Even though my mother had her doubts

I’m going to hate this Christmas without you

No sex, no presents, and no lunch.

And all because of your two left bloody feet

Well thanks, well just thanks a fucking bunch

It’s bollocks my Christmas is being ruined without you

My mother could well have been quite right

You threw yourself out in front of that truck

Just out of – just out of fucking spite

You think you’ve fucked my Christmas being without you

Well I can tell you that your sister’s looking sleek

You know it seems like ages – since you croaked,
Even though it’s only been a week

Christmas might not be as bad as I was expecting without you

I’ve talked to sis and I think I’m on a winner

As for your mum, well what a star

She’s says that she’s going to cook my dinner


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Filed under Humour, Lyrics by Tony Groves

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