Counting C**ts in Cromer

An unusual title inspired by a certain pain in the neck (you know who you are) and my little homage to Ian Dury and his classic ditty “Billericay Dickie” off the “New Boots and Panties” album which has always been a favourite of mine.

The Blockheads are still going and putting out the occasional classic but somehow they’ve never quite been the same without Ian. I’d think he would have had a chuckle at this little number!

I’ve encountered cunts in Cromer
And dicks in Billericay
There’s lots of twats in Twickers
And fools in Faversham
I’ve come across dicks in Didsbury
And arses in Bordeaux
I’m truly international
I don’t mind where I go
There’s stupid people everywhere
From Kent to St Nazaire
There’s silly cows in Moscow
They’re everywhere you know!

There’s people who will take the piss
No matter where they dwell
And they think I’ll just take it
But I can dish it out as well
I find there are opinions
That get right up my nose
And those who will pontificate
And like to preen and pose
I’ve got no time for anyone
Who carries on that way
It’s just a waste of effort
To listen to what they say

And as I travel round the world
It’s amazing what I find
There’s wankers everywhere you look
You’d think they’d all go blind
I’ve met them on the ocean
I’ve met them on the land
I’ve seen them in the desert
Cavourting in the sand
You simply can’t escape them
It’s such a sorry tale
If you think you can avoid them
Then I think you’ll find you fail

It’s the same the whole world over
No matter near or far
There’s fools that go by bicycle
There’s twats that go by car
There’s arseholes riding aeroplanes
There’s some that go by bus
But no matter how they got there
They like to make a fuss
They like to tell me what to think
And tell me what to do
But I’m not really listening
It’s such a bally hoo!

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Filed under Accoustic, Blues, Punk

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