Old Gits

With the “One for the Road” album now completed, it’s time to work on something new – so I thought I’d kick off with a bit of electronic dance music – or ‘disco’ as we old farts used to call it.

Anyway, here it is complete with a video produced by my good friend Dioclese so David Guetta, Sophie ellis-Bextor and the Pet Shop Boys eat your heart out!

Growing old disgracefully
Is what I want to do
To spend the kids inheritance
And sink a pint or two
To spit and swear and grow my hair
It seems a simple plan
To not care when they tell me
I’m a dirty little man
I’ve grown a little thin on top
I’ve grown a pony tail
I’m wearing jeans like Clarkson
I’m simply having fun
There is no point in growing old
If you don’t let down your hair
And liven up your small talk
With a swear word here and there

I haven’t got a smartphone
I don’t know what one’s for
My daughter tried to give me one
But I dropped it on the floor
She’s trying to keep track of me
She thinks that I can’t tell
I don’t know what an app is for
But a nap would suit me well
They reckon I’ve gone senile
Little do they know
I’ve still got all me marbles
I’m an awkward so and so
And when things get unpleasant
I simply blank them out
And make out I don’t understand
Or yell and scream and shout

I used to be a rocker
Way back in me youth
There’s still one deep inside me
If you want to know the truth
The youngsters haven’t got a clue
Reckon they invented fun
And apart from the arthritis
This later life’s quite fun!

My kids think I’m a reprobate
They think I’m in a state
But I’ve never had it better
And life is really great
People make allowances
For all the things I do
But I’ve still got all me faculties
And I’ve learned a thing or two
You can get away with murder
You can do just what you want
They think you’re old and senile
Don’t tell them it’s a front
Buy your clothes at Oxfam
And don’t let on what you’ve got
Let ‘em think you’re hard up
Or they’ll fleece you for the lot

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