Mystery Song

As you have already had the glorious ‘Shit Christmas’ which I posted to put the festive season into context, ‘Mystery Song’ effectively completes the ‘Old Friends’ album.

I think of it as a bit Blockheads. It’s a muse about the mysteries of life. As Tony Hancock once so beautifully put it “I stare into the sky at night and think ‘What does it all mean? What DOES it all men?’ I then I think ‘Well, it’s got bugger all to with me and I go back to sleep!'” Glorious!

Why are there some questions that will never have an answer?
Why is it that Russell Grant will never make a dancer?
Why do some drive on the left and some drive on the right?
Why is it that day time always follows after night
Why do some folk like to talk until they are quite hawse?
Why can no-one ever name that elusive 7th dwarf?
It’s a mystery to me
But I can plainly see
There are some things we’ll simply never know

Why are priests and clergy always looking for a sign?
Why do politicians always make out things are fine?
Why are some things always yours and some things only mine?
And why is it that poets never seem stuck for a rhyme?
Why are some folks musical while others can’t keep time?
And why are some folk useless while others simply shine?
It’s no use asking me
‘Cos as far as I can see
There are some things we simply can’t explain

Why does the petrol in my car have to cost so very much?
And why aren’t politicians more like Screaming Lord Sutch?
Why is my glass half empty while yours is half way full?
And why is it advertisements all treat me like a fool?
Why are some folk so polite and others all so rude?
Why do some people turn to drink while others turn to food?
It’s really not a secret
It’s really rather simple
There are some things we’re just not meant to know

If you ask me it’s simple
It’s as easy as can be
There is no point in asking you
And there’s no point asking me

Why was Albert Einstein such a clever dick?
Why are some folk healthy and others really sick?
Why does it make no difference no matter what I say?
Why is it that some people can only think one way?
Why can’t we find a better way and live a better life?
Why can’t we put an end to all the suffering and strife?

We’ll never know why we are here
But we should know where we’re going
This cannot be the only way
But there’s no real way of knowing
And far as I can see It’s bugger all to do with me…


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