Happy Birthday

If you thought the last post was something different, then you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I am indebted to my good friend the Flaxen Saxon for the lyrics for this piece of lunacy and mayhem. I’ve no idea what part of his head these ‘lyrics’ came from. I shamelessly nicked them of his blog, changed them around a bit and then wrote some music around them.

Any queries should be addressed to him. I’ve not got a clue what it’s about but if people like Stevie Winder and McCartney can write birthday songs, then I reckon it’s my duty to do the same.

Who knows? Could become a standard!

Right click here to download this track

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.
Your servants steal, your wife’s untrue
Your children plot to murder you
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near

It’s your Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere!
On your Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Now you’ve aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
Now that you’re the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down
Burn, then rape by firelight
Add romance to life tonight

It’s your Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Just be glad the friends you’ve got
Haven’t found out you-know-what
On your Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Indigestion’s what you get
From the enemies you ‘et
Baked or broiled or in a stew
We love children, yes we do
While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you,
We brought linen, white as cloud
The women sit and sew your shroud

It’s your Birthday! Happy Birthday!
May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks
On your Birthday! Happy Birthday!

This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
I’m a leper, can’t you see
Have a birthday kiss from me
It’s your birthday never fear
You’ll be dead this time next year
So far Death you have bypassed
But don’t look back, he’s gaining fast

It’s your Birthday! Happy Birthday!
When you’ve reached this age you know
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
That the mind is first to go
It’s your Birthday ! Happy Birthday!
You are very, very old
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Soon you will be dead and cold
It’s your Birthday Happy Birthday!

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Filed under Humour, Pop, Punk

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