Snobs

Ever been in a nice quiet bar when a load of hooray henry’s appear spouting bullshit at the top of their voices, telling everybody how wonderful they are with all their money and their stuff? Ever felt like just telling them to fuck off and spread their bullshit somewhere else?

And then you realise that there’s really no point in wasting your breath because you’re just a peasant unfit to breathe the same air as them.

Yes? Well, you’ll like this song then!

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Noisy snobs – Plum in mouth
Never talk – They always shout
Through the hot air – Bullshit floats
Spewing from – Their snooty throats
Peaceful bar – Quiet drink
All gone down – The kitchen sink
In they come – In a herd
Their voices all – That can be heard
Boring bastards – Lacking wit
Churning out – A load of shit

Flashy houses – Flashy cars
Designer clothes – And second homes
Trying to – Outdo each other
Boasting to – Outbrag the other
Is it real? – Who can tell?
Is it just – A tale they tell?
Tell me how – You make your money
Do you really? – Why how funny!
What’s your sport? – Bridge or golf?
What’s your poison? – Gin or scotch?

Why do you – Invade their space?
Why don’t you – Know your place?
Musn’t speak – They cut you dead
Peasant tattooed – ‘cross your head
Class distinction – Alive and well
Tell them they – Can go to hell!

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Filed under Rock

New Tricks

I thought is was time time to try something different, so I was messing around on the Strat and came up with this.

Distorted guitar and a simple drumbeat with and overlaid solo and single vocals. Might even be able to play it live. You never know.

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You can teach a dolphin to jump through a hoop
You can teach a hunter the best way to shoot
You can try and tell me what I should think
But you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

You can disagree with everything I say
You can try and persuade me there’s a better way
You can tie me down and beat me with a stick
But you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

Maybe you could show me how to ride a horse
Or how to play around on the golf course
There’s things about me you might wanna fix
But you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

I don’t wanna change the world to my way
I don’t wanna stop you from having your say
Wanna do what I do and think what I think
‘Cos you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

I’m too long in the tooth to change my ways
I’m too old to wanna do things any other way
I’ve been ding my thing for too many years
And you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

You can’t teach an old dog new ticks

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Filed under Blues

Who needs TV?

Originally called ‘Fish” (see track 3), my latest album is now finished and the artwork and tracks are all posted on the appropriate page that you can access from the left hand margin. As usual, be warned that the lyrics aren’t always polite.

It’s an eclectic mix of everything from accoustic music through pop, disco, blues and even a bit of punk and includes further collaborations with Tony Groves. There’s also a new take on ‘Happy Birthday’ which is nothing even remotely like the one you’re thinking of. Lyrics for that were provided by a blogger friend of mine called Flaxen Saxon. Ask him if you want the lyrics explained!

As usual, free free to help yourself and if you want the lyrics then you’ll find them under the individual posts on this blog.

If you’re a band that likes my stuff then please get in touch. I’d be delighted to hear it performed live – the price is a recording so I can hear what you’ve done with it. No royalties payable unless you record it and sell it commercially.

Enjoy the music. Who needs TV?

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Filed under Uncategorized

My Song 16

Despite trying to find an obvious title for this song, I failed miserably despite pouring over the yrics so I decided to stick with the one that Garageband gave it!

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Talk to me, speak to me
Amaze with your verbal prowess
Try to make me understand
Put your case, no more no less
What’s your point? What can you say?
Can you show me a better way?
Noble sentiments don’t make
The world we see a better place
Platitudes all very well
It’s a product you can sell
But making money screws the poor
Really simple – nothing more

It’s just the way the world turns round
A simple message to be found
You won’t make me change my mind
Another message you won’t find
Fun for all and all for me
Selling crap why can’t you see?
Wealth and power are the game
If you were me you’d think the same
I’m alright Jack can’t you see?
It’s me that matters most to me
Are the cobwebs in your mind
Really quite so well defined

Talk to me, speak to me
Amaze with your verbal prowess
Try to make me understand
Put your case, no more no less
What’s you point? What can you say?
Can you show me a better way?
Noble sentiments don’t make
The world we see a better place
It’s really simple can’t you see
It’s really obvious to me
That you blank out new ideas
Shutting out your darkest fears

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Filed under Pop, Rock

Seasons

When I recorded this I was aiming to do something simple and then discovered that I’d got a melody without any lyrics. This is unusual or me as I usually write the lyrics and then go looking for the music.

Anyhow, after rejecting two sets of words I came up with this. Uncharacteristically, it’s remarkably cheery for me!

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Springtime brings a brand new year
Putting paid to winter’s tears
Life is new and life is fresh
Looking forward to all that’s best
Each new life a fresh new promise
Everyday a fresh new future
Everyday a fresh new hope
Winters blues are over now
Sun is shining through the clouds
No more snow, no icy shroud
Nature’s glories standing proud
Summer soon is on its way
With each and every brightening day

April showers come they may
To bring the flowers bright in May
Summer sunshine on our back
Ditch that coat for shirt and slacks
Watching flowers growing fast
Smell the smell of new mown grass
Enjoying lazy days
Everything is warmth and light
Every day a bright fresh sight
No cares or worries to be found
Everything seems safe and sound
But nothing lasts forever
Autumn soon will come our way

Autumn winds blow leaves from trees
Bringing summer to it’s knees
Sunshine fades and nights close in
Turning weather turning bad again
Birds fly south to seek the sun
Rainclouds put an end to fun
Now in the autumn of my life
I look back at the times I had
Springtime in its innocence
Summertime alive with hope
Dreams I had when I was young
Grew and blossomed in the sun

And though the winter now has come
I don’t regret what I have done
I could’ve done things differently
I could’ve trod a different path
And when my winter’s done
And my life comes to an end
I know that spring will come again

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Filed under Accoustic

Politicians

Seeing as how today is election day, I thought I’d post this track about politicians which I think pretty much sums up how I feel about them in general.

One wonders why they do it. What’s the motivation? What’s in it for them?

And they’re so honest and sincere aren’t they?

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It’s all about the power
And the big house and the car
It’s not about the money
It’s who we think they are
They need to be important
They need to lead the way
They need to be a big shot
So you listen to what they say

The people all look up to him
He’s a real important man
What mere mortals cannot do
They all assume he can
The bodyguards and hangers on
All add to the mystique
They know that he’s a leader
And they’re falling at his feet

Big shots
Politicians
No doubts
No inhibitions
Follow on
Or fall behind
Suit yourself
‘Cos they don’t mind

It’s him who knows what’s best for you
You must do what you’re told
You really should be grateful
For the life line that you hold
If he leaves you on your own
Then you can’t find your way home
It’s not for you to question him
When he tells what to do

You’re living on a minimum wage
You’re living in a council house
Why can’t you all be grateful?
Why do you moan and grouse?

It’s clear that he’s a leader
It’s clear he knows what’s best
He’s looking after folks like him
To hell with all the rest
What would you do without him
Could you manage with out them
You really should be grateful
It’s too easy to condemn

Politicians
Fancy cars
Flashy suits
Going far
On the telly
Looking good
Smiling faces
Hearts of wood

Looking down
Down on you
Telling you
What’s good for you
Sitting on
A pedestal
Sneering
At all those fools

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Filed under Pop, Protest, Rock

Everybody’s Fucked But Me

Most of this song is autobiographical.

Did you ever wonder what happened to your old mates? You know – the ones you went to school with, the ones you used to meet down the pub on a Sunday lunchtime or the guys that used to play in the band with you in a former life? The girls you went out with when you were younger. Much younger!

I respectfully dedicate this song to them. Especially Phil the keyboard player who dropped dead one day and Jim who fell out of the air when flying a hang glider. It might be morbid, but it’s a sort of musical memorial to them.

Yeah, at least I still alive – which is more than this lot are. If you recognise yourself, then you’re dead.

Right click here to download this track

Whatever happened to that girl I used drive home on my motorcycle
Whatever happened to that girl well I wish I knew
She married an accountant
Give birth to seven screaming kids
Drives a mini clubman
And has varicose veins
It was a lucky escape
‘cos she screwed up her life
Looking back it’s plain to see
That everybody’s fucked but me

Whatever happened to the guys that I used to go out drinking with
Whatever happened to those guys. Well, I wish I knew
John contracted a fatal dose of aids
He died last year
Jim died in a car crash
On his way home from work
I’m doing better than them
At least I’m still alive
Looking back it’s plain to see
That everybody’s fucked but me

Whatever happened to the girls who used to hang around us round after gigs
Whatever happened to those girls, well I wish I knew
Rosy took to crack
Mary took to pole dancing
Jane got knifed by a punter
While she sucking him off
Their sexual proclavities
Dropped them all in the shit
Looking back it’s plain to see
That everybody’s fucked but me

Death and destruction
Tears and despair
They’re not for me
I’m not going there
But don’t accuse me
Of being boring
Just because
Everybody’s fucked but me

Whatever happened to those guys that I played in the band with
Whatever happened to those guys, well I wish I knew
The bassist took to whiskey
He drank himself to death
The drummer had an overdose
While taking crystal meth
The singer died in a bar fight
They stuck the mike stand up his ass
Looking back it’s obvious to me
It’s plain to see
That everybody’s fucked but me
It’s obvious to me that
Everybody
Everybody’s fucked but me
Looking back to see
It’s obvious
Everybody’s fucked but me

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Filed under Pop, Rock